To shave or not to shave: Reflections on showing up authentically
Photo by the wonderful Molly Matcham from a 2016 shoot on Hampstead Heath, back when I lived in London.
I remember the morning of this photo-shoot well. Specifically, I remember the extra angsty time I spent in the shower, deliberating over whether or not to shave my armpits for my photo-shoot.
The authentic choice would be to leave them as they were.
I was experimenting with my relationship with body hair at the time and didn’t want to succumb to the societal norm of shaving just because I was having my photos taken.
But I was caught up in what people might think if I didn’t.
“Is having armpit hair in my photos going to look unprofessional? Will people think I just forgot to shave? Will it turn potential clients away?”
I’d already had most of the hair on my head cut off in a somewhat last-min decision to get a pixie cut right before my shoot. Were the armpit hairs next for the chop!?
All these memories came back when I stumbled upon this old photo.
It sounds like a tiny thing now - maybe an insignificant decision to have been worried about making, and even writing about here nine years later. (How is it NINE YEARS!?)
But the choices we make around how much we allow to be seen in our business and personal branding through our stories, language, visuals, and indeed, armpit hair, is not insignificant - especially when it feels taboo, goes against the norms of our culture, or in this case, its beauty standards.
In the end, I decided to leave my armpit hair. Body hair was something I was taking a stand for in my own, quietly subversive way. It was honest. It was me.
I tell this story as a reminder to any small biz owners reading: we get to choose how much of our personal self we display in our branding and what we keep private.
It can feel overwhelming trying to decide on the ‘right’ level of realness and vulnerability to bring through in our personal branding and photography. But ultimately, it’s up to you, moment to moment. There is no one ‘right’ way.
Photo from my 2016 shoot with the lovely photographer Molly Matcham, during my time living in London, growing my armpit hair and sitting in reflection on the benches of Hampstead Heath.
For business owners with a personal brand (or for 24 year old me, pictured in this post!), here are the principles I’m standing by for now:
Feeling in integrity with yourself and how you are showing up in your business matters so much more than the real or perceived judgements of strangers on the internet (especially those who would absolutely never be your desired customer or client anyway). 👀
You don’t owe your audience any more of yourself than you feel comfortable sharing. Be patient with yourself as you grow into your edges.
You’re showing up as a business owner with things to sell and talk about as it relates to your professional work (as opposed to personally, or to your friends). It’s okay keep things about yourself private if it doesn’t feel important, relevant to your offerings, or if you’re simply not ready to share that part of yourself yet (or ever) with your professional audience.
And… being visible in your business with your actual thoughts, values and opinions will differentiate you and your offerings from others in your space, allow you to show up uniquely (because you are!), and create working-relationships that are based on shared values. This will likely lead to more meaningful projects, work and connections than if you hide everything that makes you ‘you’.
The things that make you ‘you’ are the things that make you interesting and appealing to good-fit clients! Yay! Let them know who you are and what you stand for.
And finally, to my past self: You did the right thing leaving the hair, because here we are in 2025 and you still haven’t shaved your armpits. You knew you were on a journey of questioning the given standards of femininity and beauty and living in that inquiry. By leaving it, you held your position and allowed yourself to be seen as you were in that exploration.
It feels important to also place this caveat: Your safety and wellbeing (physical, psychological, emotional, etc) always comes first and foremost when figuring out how much of yourself to share. For marginalised people, the simple truths of your identity may be politicised, challenged or debated before you’ve even shared anything further about yourself.
This level of critique is a reality that most cis/straight-passing/able-bodied/white or otherwise privileged biz owners such as myself do not have to contend with as a public-facing-human on the internet.
My ‘principles’ above come from my own personal and professional experience, and will always be a work in progress as I continually learn.